Higher Expectations

A lot of women start out with high standards for love and relationships. We want Mr. Right – a prince charming to sweep us off our feet. Then, at some point we lower and change our standards. Mr. Right becomes Mr. Right Now or, worse, he becomes Mr. Wrong. So, the question is, why do we lower our standards? And, for that matter, why have standards at all?

Why We Lower Standards?
At some point in our lives it may seem like all of our friends are either married or dating and feel the need to “snag” a partner before they are all taken. Perhaps we are reminded, daily, about our biological clocks and the need to have children as soon as possible. As a result, we may lower our standards to meet some self-imposed deadline. Believing any relationship is better than none.
Emotional vulnerability is another trigger for lowering standards. When we are lonely or going through emotional crisis we may latch on to other people for support. Other women may have self esteem issues and feel like they have to lower their standards and accept anyone who expresses interest.

Why Have Standards?
By setting standards we are saying to ourselves "This is what I want" and, more importantly, "This is what I deserve." It’s important to have healthy relationship standards because that paves the way for healthy relationships.

It’s perfectly alright to lower our standards, within reason. As we get older we may realize that what we thought we wanted no longer applies. We become financial stable and no longer feel we need a man to provide that. Or we come to value personality traits over physical traits. But we still need to maintain core, minimum, standards and ensure that we hold on to what we want and need the most.