Intimacy

An Explanation of Intimacy
Many people associate intimacy with sex, but intimacy goes beyond the physical and plays a role in every relationship we have. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness, affinity and belonging - in our relationships with others - and requires transparency, vulnerability, trust and open dialogue. While sexual intimacy is important, emotional intimacy is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Intimacy in Relationships
Intimacy levels vary in human relationships and depend greatly on the type of relationship and how each person is socialized. If you find that your friendships have more intimacy than your romantic relationships, this is usually a red flag that there is something wrong with the relationship.

It typically takes a long time – months and even years – to develop a truly intimate relationship and, it takes emotional and interpersonal awareness to maintain that intimacy. Many people associate intimacy with losing themselves in another person. However, in a true intimate relationship, both partners maintain their sense of self. They are two distinct individuals - with their own feelings, interests and opinions - who have made a close connection with each other.

Discussing Intimacy with Your Partner
It is often difficult to discuss intimacy with our partners because most people have a skewed understanding of what true intimacy means. Men may be more resistant to the openness and vulnerability, required for true intimacy, because they perceive those traits as weakness. Conversely, women tend to form bonds quickly, especially with other women, and may confuse these sudden bonds with true intimacy.

If both partners can recognize how they each view intimacy, and how those views differ, they can then open the door to effective communication on the issue.

The most important step to fostering intimacy is understanding your own expectations for intimacy and how they relate to your partner’s.