John Gottman is a relationship expert. Not only has he written many relationship books including, After the Fight, Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy and Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion, but he is also the head of the Gottman Institute, a research facility that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
In other words, he knows what he is talking about, as does his book: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. [1]
In this book, Dr. Gottman recounts the insights he’s discovered in his observations of the habits of married couples over the years. He provides creative solutions to very real problems using his seven principles as a roadmap.
The seven principles are outlined as follows:
1. Enhance your Love Maps
2. Nurture your fondness and admiration
3. Turn towards each other instead of away
4. Let your partner influence
5. Solve your solvable problems
6. Overcome Gridlock
7. Create shared meaning
You’ll have to read the book to get more detail, but in essence he doesn’t prescribe one way for managing an argument and doesn’t ascribe to the popular advice about couple communication.
Whether you’ve been married for over 40 years or are starting to think of someone as marriage material, this book will give you a fresh look into what a relationship is and how it can be nurtured for success.