Talking to your man about what you need in bed can be tricky, but well worth the effort. Here’s how to do it:
1. Frame your needs in a positive way. The last thing a guy wants to feel is criticized. If you want your partner to do something differently in bed, try phrasing your desire with words like “I love it when you do X.” He doesn’t do X and that’s the problem? Try saying, “I’d love to try X.” Comments that start with “Why don’t you…” or “You never …” can easily put him on the defensive – a definite turn off.
2. Nudge in bed but discuss elsewhere. Men secretly love some guidance so don’t be afraid to give gentle nudges in the directions you want during sex. But save a lengthy sex talk for a time when you are both on neutral ground and feel less vulnerable. Studies also show that men are more receptive to your message when you talk with them while seated next to them as opposed to when looking at them directly.
3. Keep the conversation light. Don’t schedule a “talk.” Slip your comments into casual conversation. Guys do listen – especially when it comes to sex so don’t worry that your concerns will go unnoticed.
A good relationship requires a healthy sex life where both participants are sexually gratified – and that includes YOU.
For more tips check out: 20 Communication Tips for Couples: A 30-Minute Guide to a Better Relationship [1]
